Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
Randomize
