I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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