thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
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