I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Randomize
