When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
He passed out mid-signature
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
Randomize