reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Randomize
