I didn't shave. On purpose
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
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