we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize
