If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
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