is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
Randomize
