make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
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