is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
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