kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
Randomize
