I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
Randomize