At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
Randomize
