According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
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