just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
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