His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
