My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
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