halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
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