so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
only if we run a train.
done.
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
