Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
Randomize
