at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
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