we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
Randomize
