The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
I think we might need a safe word for this...
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