You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
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