I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
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