After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
Randomize
