Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
Randomize