I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
No stitches, just platelets and will power
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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