What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
Randomize
