I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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