Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
Randomize
