i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
That awkward moment when you were so fucking drunk lastnight that you and your fuck buddy wake up wearing eachother's clothing covered in hot cheetos with his cat curled up between your heads meowing. Thought you'd appreciate this moment with me.
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