i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
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