So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize
