thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
