I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
Randomize
