I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
Randomize
