so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
I*** M*****, this is your dignity texting you. I ditched you when you started hitting on bros and old sailor men last night. My friend Sarah has pictures to prove it.
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize
