i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
Randomize
