I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
Randomize
