Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
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