Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
I think I sprained my soul last night
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Randomize
