dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
Randomize
