I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Randomize
