So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
Randomize