I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
Randomize
