Theres a note on my antibiotics that says "Do not chew or crush. Swallow whole." I think that would be a good tattoo for just above my penis.
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
Randomize
