we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
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