i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
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