so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
My pussy is not your playground.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
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