You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
Randomize
