we have officially lost it.
Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
