We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
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