i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
I just got carded by a ten year old.
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
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