I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
there is another microwave in the elevator.
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